The past week and a half, I have been going like a chicken with its head cut off. All nerve endings firing at once and bobbling around causing much havoc. Of course, I still have my head on my shoulders, but it feels like my head is tied on tighter than ever before. Everyday that I work, I have to bike from my house about 10 miles then bike back after a laborious day another 10 miles. I am not complaining, as it feels good to finally have something to do. Breathing is all that is required for me to catch up to where the week has gone.
Another thing worth mentioning about the past two weeks is that it has allowed me time to think and compose myself. I had fallen apart at the seams and I didn't know why. I had allowed myself to change in a manner I didn't realize or mean to. Before I left for Boot Camp, I thought I had it all figured out. Then I injured my knee and I let it define me. I got discharged from the military because I couldn't complete the physical portion. When I got home, even after the injury healed, I continued to let the "I can't do it" attitude prevail and clinged onto the little good that I had left in my life. I fully regret it now, but I am pushing myself now to overcome this problem and redefine myself.
I don't have it all figured out. I never will. I just have been given a small insight to my own problem.
My apologies to anyone who has been hurt by my past actions.
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